Thursday, May 19, 2011

Today

Today I am Philippe Petit balancing on a piece of floss. I inch my way along and pray for a strand of calm between towers of emotion. I have everything to lose with one false step. Don't look down, don't look down. Don't speak. Don't shake the rope.

Today I am a child whose ball has once again rolled into the street. Not just any street, but the Daytona Speedway filled with a chaos of clown cars. I dip my toe into the traffic and make a run for it while everything around me rotates into a dizzying blur of sputtering jalopies. Honk, honk.

Today I am American Gothic and my righteousness weathervane is wildly spinning and pointing in so many directions I don't know where to look. I don't know who to be. Am I the obedient spinster or her stern father? Or maybe I am the wayward winds, themselves.

Today I am frail and elderly. I am breathing my last and realize that nothing but this singular moment matters. And I wonder why I have just now learned this. Why I have lived for so many long reasons yet never the right one.

Today I am tired. Tired of walking wires, and dodging cars and pitching forks and dying.

7 comments:

  1. Me too!!! I was crying to Ross last night and this morning about the same things. You know what he told me? Go to Florida. Maybe he has something there?

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  2. He's brilliant and you're even MORE brilliant for following his advice. When do I pick you up at the airport?

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  3. The best thing for whining is wine. Try it, you'll like it. Oh, factor is wonder frinds from NY and you've got a home run!

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  4. Garret: Either you've been taking your own advice (*hic*), or haven't quite gotten the hang of that touchscreen yet. Well?

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  5. LOL yeah, was supposed to be "factor in wonderful friends and you've got a home run."

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  6. This is wonderful writing, Alix. No doubt some troubling sentiments went into it's creation, but gorgeous writing. At life's core, I think we are all "playing in traffic." I'll wave at you when it's safe to cross.

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  7. What things? What is this about? Am I missing something?

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