Today I am Philippe Petit balancing on a piece of floss. I inch my way along and pray for a strand of calm between towers of emotion. I have everything to lose with one false step. Don't look down, don't look down. Don't speak. Don't shake the rope.
Today I am a child whose ball has once again rolled into the street. Not just any street, but the Daytona Speedway filled with a chaos of clown cars. I dip my toe into the traffic and make a run for it while everything around me rotates into a dizzying blur of sputtering jalopies. Honk, honk.
Today I am American Gothic and my righteousness weathervane is wildly spinning and pointing in so many directions I don't know where to look. I don't know who to be. Am I the obedient spinster or her stern father? Or maybe I am the wayward winds, themselves.
Today I am frail and elderly. I am breathing my last and realize that nothing but this singular moment matters. And I wonder why I have just now learned this. Why I have lived for so many long reasons yet never the right one.
Today I am tired. Tired of walking wires, and dodging cars and pitching forks and dying.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Me too!!! I was crying to Ross last night and this morning about the same things. You know what he told me? Go to Florida. Maybe he has something there?
ReplyDeleteHe's brilliant and you're even MORE brilliant for following his advice. When do I pick you up at the airport?
ReplyDeleteThe best thing for whining is wine. Try it, you'll like it. Oh, factor is wonder frinds from NY and you've got a home run!
ReplyDeleteGarret: Either you've been taking your own advice (*hic*), or haven't quite gotten the hang of that touchscreen yet. Well?
ReplyDeleteLOL yeah, was supposed to be "factor in wonderful friends and you've got a home run."
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful writing, Alix. No doubt some troubling sentiments went into it's creation, but gorgeous writing. At life's core, I think we are all "playing in traffic." I'll wave at you when it's safe to cross.
ReplyDeleteWhat things? What is this about? Am I missing something?
ReplyDelete