Wednesday, April 27, 2011


So, I quit my job.

Yeah. I did.

In the beginning, I was really excited about going back to work and doing something fun. It doesn't matter that the job turned out to be a whole lot less fun than expected because the hard work was really good for me. It was cathartic. Good therapy. Like mucking horse stalls was cathartic good therapy. And when I make that comparison, it is not an accident.

I'm not afraid of hard work, y'all. In fact, I find it invigorating. I would much rather be tired at the end of the day because I worked my ass off and earned the fatigue than to be tired because I sat around all day doing nothing. But, it looks like imma be sitting around doing a whole lot of nothing very soon.

I was torn, but I quit anyway. I'd been considering it for a long while. Before I even completed my training if you want to know the truth. I knew almost immediately that I was hired for a job that was far different in reality than what I had imagined. Expected. What I had signed up for. But I also decided to give it a fair trial. Six months.

It was the longest six months of my life.

I have my good days. And I have my bad days (like last Saturday when I dropped my iPhone in the toilet and knocked a bottle of olive oil on the floor shattering it in a million pieces, sending a trajectory of green slime in all directions kind of like a crime scene bludgeoning. After that, the Caramel Macchiato Tiramisu that I painstakingly built wasn't set and started dissolving the moment I served it. It tasted great but looked so astonishingly hideous I had to throw most of it out. And that was just my first hour). Regardless, the Saturdays were killing me. A girl doesn't come out of retirement for a fun job that turns out to be un-fun and then work every stinking Saturday of her life - and like it. So, that was pretty much the deciding factor.

I gave 30 days notice, because it took me a month of training before I was ready to execute my job properly, and I wanted to afford my employer the same time to train somebody new. Unfortunately, I'm already regretting that decision. Have you any idea how long a month is when in your heart you are already gone? It's not so much a short-timers attitude because I fully intend to do my best right up until my last hour - it's more like staying married to someone you no longer love. Someone who has bitterly disappointed you. You do it for whatever reason, but it's still torture. It's still jail.

In all fairness, I have to say that I am employed by a wonderful company. One of Fortune Magazine's 100 Best Companies to Work For, fourteen years running. Unfortunately, a Fortune List does not a perfect job make. I can't go into detail, but let's just say a monkey could do my job and probably get paid better. On the other hand, they still had faith in me. They hired me. I owed them, at the very least, a decent notice period and a thoughtful resignation letter, something like this:
Dear {boss},
After careful consideration, I submit this letter of resignation to {employer}, effective May 19, 2011.  Family and personal commitments make it necessary for me to end my employment and I am providing this thirty day advance notice in order to allow {employer} ample time to hire and train a replacement. I have enjoyed working as a {laboratory rat} and appreciate the opportunity and the experience.  It has been a privilege to be a member of the {employer} team and I have great admiration and respect for all the hard working {laboratory rats} in each department, many of whom have become my good friends.
I look forward to continuing a great customer relationship with {employer} as I make my regular shopping rounds and am excited for the continued success and growth of the {employer} store.
Except for the manager on duty to whom I submitted the letter, it went unacknowledged. Seriously. My first line manager has yet to acknowledge it. And the store manager, who hired me, has yet to acknowledge it. But that's not to say he hasn't made inappropriate comments...

On Saturday - the aforementioned day from hell - I was chatting up a regular customer when my store manager approached and joined in. I was in the midst of getting glorified accolades from the customer when my store manager piped in, "We took a huge risk hiring her. Unfortunately, she didn't work out."

Excusemewhat???!! OMG what did you just say?  I didn't work out? I was given the best first performance evaluation ever, I have never missed a day of work, I have never been so much as a minute late, I have dazzled the customers (poetic license), and have worked extra days and hours when asked. And you say I didn't work out? You say I was a huge risk?? Please let me remind you that I resigned. YOU are what didn't work out. I can only hope my socially inept store manager was trying to make a funny that came out horribly inexcusably wrong - and even then it was a terrible error in judgement. 

The truth is, they took zero risk hiring me. I have a pretty little resumé, a strong work ethic, didn't balk  over money, was enthusiastic, performed my duties well, and was in general a model employee. I made friends, kept my mouth shut, didn't complain, didn't gossip, kept a smile glued on my face, and was consistently if not overwhelmingly cheerful. Oh yeah, and I cooked like a champion over and over and over and over and over. What didn't work out is that I have a life and a husband that take priority - and my little job began interfering with my quality of life. So, I quit. And I'm counting down the weeks, days, hours and minutes until I'm free.

And when I am free... I can't wait to go back to the store... in my bathing suit and cover up, waving to everyone while I pick up a few necessaries on my way to the beach.

Oh, snap indeed!


  1. Good for you, Alix! Welcome back to Blogland! I've missed you tons and hope you're planning on doing a lot more posts. I hear ya on working Saturdays! And who needs a boss like that? Cheers!

  2. Aisle No 7 Aisle No 7, a spatula is coming your way....LOL...seriously the beach needs you more than *****, that being said go for a nice long 6 mile walk, I will join you:))

  3. If I were you and I heard any more comments like that I would turn on my heel and walk out right away. What a horrible thing to say not only to you but in front of a customer !!!! They don't deserve you and the beach and Larry do. 3 weeks and counting....

  4. I vote we all go in (taking shifts of course) and sneeze at the demo display.

    Congrats for giving it a try, however, you're an idiot for holding on for so long. There. I said it. Love you honey!

  5. Snap is right! Actually slap is more like it. I'd have had at the guy with the rude comment. Sheesh.

    Sorry it didn't work out but it did sound like a very labor intensive job for a part-time gig. You lasted way longer than I would have an were beyond kind giving a full month's notice.

    As for Garret's comment about sneezing on the demo display.... I htink I'd rather just sneeze on the jerk manager ;-)

    Enjoy the beach! xo jj


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