Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Born This Way

Have you ever known a person that, for some mysterious unidentifiable reason - maybe no reason at all - you just don't like? Someone who aggravates you by an expression they make, by the way they comb  their hair, by blinking, or just by breathing the same air?

You have? 

Well, is it me, because I seem to have that affect on people a lot. No really, I do. Always have. I must have been born this way.

I don't bring this up to illicit sympathies from anyone. I'm just saying. Some people have the god-given talent of unintentionally annoying others. Of rubbing them the wrong way by simply existing. Hello. I'm Boozy Tooth... nice to meet you.
[I will pause here briefly so you can roll your eyes and think to yourself that I really ought to get over myself and stop being so gd melodramatic and hyper sensitive. (Don't lie, you know that's exactly what you were doing.)]
I admit that I certainly have had my share of pissy days and bad moods. Made my share of mistakes. Done my share of evil deeds and whatnot. I mean over the course of five decades you can't expect me to have been absolutely perfect. Who is? And I will gladly accept my slice of just deserts for all that, but in general I don't do particularly well being an object of disdain for no apparent reason. I don't appreciate being the target of nasty critical people. Or holding the dubious distinction as chief recipient of perpetual unfairness by those who hold no greater station in life than the overinflated manufactured one in their own minds. In other words, back off you miserable unhappy purveyors of gossipy harsh undeserved judgmental BS.

Okay. So you're probably wondering what brought this rant on, right? This SameShitNewDay rendition of a popular tune some of you hangers-on may remember from my old Casa H ice ramblings. It's my little pity party for one that I throw on occasion to help me navigate my way through someone doing me completely wrong. In this particular case, it's a low-frequency, barely-detectable, flying-under-the-radar-yet-oh-so-potent resentment that I seem to have cultivated in someone who shall remain nameless. Someone I don't even come in direct contact with but whose bad juju is so strong it still reaches me and clouds my sunshiny optimism. It drives a stake in my happy heart and is slowly chipping away at my joy. It's a problem created by someone who has decided to complicate my life because of a perceived (albeit bogus) threat they believe I have imposed over them and I am becoming very impatient with it.

As if that isn't bad enough, this person is now messing with me and trying to manipulate me in a stealthy behind-the-scenes kind of way and I'm not going to stand for it. I'm taking equally stealthy behind-the-scenes action and I'm nipping this business in the bud now!

I know all about feelings of unworthiness and fears of failure. I know all about being intimidated by someone else's talents. I know all about struggling with confidence issues and standing in the shadow of someone else's success. And you know what? I got over it by growing up and taking control of my life. By applying myself and striving to always do my best. To work hard. To be happy for others who have achieved success. To follow their example. To not compare, but to be inspired. To not wallow in mediocrity, but to rise above it. I have learned that I am the master of my own destiny and nobody else.

I guess there isn't much I can do about rubbing people the wrong way. It's going to happen occasionally and I just have to accept that. I can't and won't change who I am to assuage someone else's feelings of insecurity. I will not appease unhappy people by sinking to their level and joining in their unhappiness. I will not allow anyone to have power over me or allow them to steal my joy - not any more. Love me or hate me... it's up to you. But know this... if you hate me because you think I'm better than you, that's your problem.

11 comments:

  1. Well, I know you aren't talking about me, because I love you! I'm jealous (not really) that I don't have the willpower that you have to lose weight and keep it off, but that's about it. I'm certainly NOT jealous of your new kitchen equipment because, frankly, I don't cook any more. I'd rather have a new car! :) Love you lots, girlfriend!

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  2. I love you too Joanie girl. Believe it or not... this is not a cookware-based issue. LOL.

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  3. Oooo Misses. All I can say is that people are afraid of fabulousness - Fabbarooney people like you (and me of course!!) are few and far between, those that can't keep up have to throw sticks and stones. But you know what, the armour that surrounds us is created by a world that is real and true, a world that isn't always full of roses - a world that makes you stronger and more able to embrace the fabulousness and forget about the shit. Anyone who doesn't see that deserves your pity more than anger. I love you. A. LOT. The end.

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  4. am I the only one who wants the details?

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  5. Women are catty and insecure in a group environment at times. I told you that. You're not alone here . Toughen up and fight back. I've seen you go psycho on people before. Do it. In a nice way. Bring the All Clads for support.

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  6. I want the details. And I WILL get them. Even if I have to fly there to get them......and then I will take care of whoever your problem is.

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  7. You want I should send Uncle Mickey from St. Louis?

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  8. Details, details. Put that BITCH in her place now! No one messes with Ross' BFF.

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  9. So, you've met my in-laws ;-)

    You know I'm your biggest fan and you know I'll be your wingman so holler anytime and I'll bet on my broom and fly over and help.

    xoxo jj

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  10. no one puts boozy in a corner!

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